Power of Two

I knew I had to write a blog post immediately so as not to forget this day, because I know I'll remember this year for the rest of my life.

Last night was a disaster, in every sense of the word. For the past five days I have been dealing with a stomach flu and last night was no exception. I felt like every movement took all the effort in my being, and talking brought about bouts of nausea. But the worst of it was knowing it was my last night with my parents, which only doubled the effects of the stomach bug. I could literally go on and on and on about how much I love my parents and how close we are, but it's just easier if I say that I am closer with them than with anyone else in my life, and I would take a bullet and a half for them. Two times over. They're my best pals. I could hardly look my mom in the eye, for each time I looked at her it felt like the last. I tried making small-talk but the words turned into tears. It was the worst night. Jay reassured me that they would miss me, too, which helped, but it did little to alleviate the pain that I felt that night.

Then, this morning, I woke up, and vomited. A super great omen given that this was the day I flew to Corrientes to begin my exchange year. But strangely enough, I cleaned myself up and felt loads better, just really hungry. In the taxi to the airport, my mom and I held hands. It was a somber taxi ride to say the least. Logistics at the airport were relatively seamless. Before going our separate ways (parents flying internationally to Santiago, Chile, and me domestically to Corrientes), we enjoyed The Last Supper (or in this case, The Last Brunch). I feebly ate my cereal and yogurt, and my parents ate their toast and medialunas (sweet croissants made with lard). The entire meal was ever so slightly saddened by the thought that this was our last meal to be shared together for a long, long time. So, we three decided to make a list of the things we would do when we we were feeling sad and wanted to to turn that sad energy into something constructive and positive. My list is pretty embarrassing, seeing as it involves watching many Will Ferrell films (isn't one too many?), but other items on my list were:

Go for a run
Listen to "our" songs
Watch videos of baby animals
Cook
Talk to my host family
Work on college applications (turn sad energy into bored energy, ugh)

My mom shared a similar list, but Jay's held an exception:

"Be sad for a little while"

When he read it it seemed like a fake answer, just to write something down, but it's only now that I can appreciate the validity of this statement. To feel love is a wonderful thing, and I am so lucky I have such wonderful parents to love. But the extent that I love them is the extent to which I will miss them. To acknowledge this for a few minutes and to allow myself to feel sad is alright. It's fine, it's healthy, and it simply balances the positive feelings I have within. I'm not prideful to the point that I can't ever let myself "show weakness" by feeling blue. It is a human emotion that I am comfortable with, and will embody for however long I might need. The key is to not let it overwhelm me. But with the wonderful family and sister that I have here, I doubt that will ever be a problem. I am blessed wherever I look. And for those who know me, I mean that in a very honest, non-ironic sense. For now, whenever I listen to the Indigo Girls, especially the song "Power of Two", I will always be reminded of my love for my parents, and for now, that will be enough.

 I should stop being rude now and go downstairs and socialize, seeing as I have awoken from my siesta. Thank god they siesta here.

-G

Continued from earlier today...

I was greeted with the warmest of welcomes at the airport this afternoon. I really wasn't expecting such a wonderful greeting, but it really made me beam from ear to ear. We drove to the house and talked the whole way. My family is so lovely and is so incredibly hospitable. The second I got to the house they sat me down with a meal and told me to make myself at home. Then we chatted for a bit, and they advised that I siesta for a while. That was totally okay with me. I went to my room and unpacked for a bit, lied down, and listened to some music. I got up around 7:00 and my host sister, Mora, and I went for a walk. It was a straight shot 10 minutes from our house to...the beach! Down by la playa, the beach, there were just so many people (on a weekday!) enjoying the beautiful weather, drinking mate, the local beverage, and running or walking their dog down the sidewalk. It's still winter here (even though it was 90 damn degrees today) so the sun set very early still, around 7:30, so by the time we approached the beach it was dark. The beautiful bridge connecting Resistencia and Corrientes was illuminated in such an enchanting way, I wish I took a picture. We walked along the beach, then meandered back home. It was so peaceful. I am thankful for that moment. When we got home, I was so pooped I crashed on the couch and watched NCIS. NCIS! I know. I'm disappointed in myself, too. But hearing it in English was a welcomed change. Then Mora and I ate dinner around 11 and talked for a while. She is remarkably kind, a trait which I feel is too often undervalued. The rapport we have is awesome. That brings us here, and I am falling asleep with my fingers still moving. More later.

-G